Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
