Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
