I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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