Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
how drunk are you?
Several
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
