i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
