Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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