she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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