My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
