brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
