Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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