Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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