i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
