Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
