didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
