she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
