Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
