Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
