So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
