So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
