So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
