I don't think brook has ever known best
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You can't just leave with hair like that
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
