Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
