I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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