it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I'm always down for nudity.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
