DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Even my vagina gasped.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
