just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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