I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Man, jail baloney is awful.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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