Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
this beer tastes like vomit already
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
