FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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