I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Randomize