it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
