don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
