i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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