god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
NoShamevember. You game?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
