I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
