dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
