But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
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