i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
And my parents said I crawled through the house
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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