why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
