and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
