We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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