My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
