first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
