your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
