Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I AM VODKA MAN
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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