if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
