you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
