Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
