you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
