I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
