Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
