I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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